A Lifetime of Diets

I think we as females in the American culture are obsessed. I am one of them. We want to have the cute figure we had at 21. I may not weigh what is considered "a lot" but my body shape has changed. It seems unfair that I look at celebrities and I work out - but have not seen much change. I know my age is playing role, and my eating habits as well.
So I diet. The dieting is a lifetime process. A love/ hate relationship if you will.
I did lose weight on the low carb plan- even got down to my college jeans size. It lasted several years, now I feel the weight returning as my jeans won't zip- and my face is the only thing that better be photographed. I sit down in pictures and ask for neck up only in family photos.
I have tried several diets; and find them difficult to stick to. I work out several times a week, but I could work out more effectively.
I have passed this self loathing of my weight on to my daughters. My youngest recently went vegetarian. She constantly worries about her size- she weighs 92 pounds and is five foot two. She is 15. My oldest finally has curves; and after years of athletics is not fond of these curves; she prefers herself before she got "a butt". Of course i think they look amazing; and would like to have the muscle tone that they carry with them from sports activities and youth.
I am working on improving my appreciation of my curves; as well as increasing my workout routine. NO longer will I complain out loud( except to my best friend or to my sister) about my aging figure.
I will continue to work on my eating habits- which are fairly healthy compared to most of my friends. Sicce Cassie has gone vegetarian I will be reducing my meat intake- maybe I will eliminate red meat. I will continue to watch my carbs- sticking to those that are balanced.
I am seeing the negative eefects of my own desire to remain youthful in appearance and i do not like it.

Sometimer's disease

In my quest to provide better services for my clients I have returned to college- I am working on my Masters in Counseling. I have completed most of the program on line. I have a few classes that require I must actually show up in the classroom and interact with at least moderately intelligent peers.
Summer seemed like the perfect time to take an on campus course- My workload is flexible- my daughter sleeps till noon.
I forgot one important issue- summer classes are only 8 weeks long. This means that I have twice as much work to do in each class. My Brain is tired. Very tired. I can't remember the names of my favorite childhood books any more, my friends laugh because I can't remember what I fixed for supper last night. I am focused on school and work. All the rest of life events are just fluff; entering one ear or eye and leaving quite shortly thereafter.

I have Sometimers disease- Sometimes I remember- sometimes I don't.

I spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday on campus 8AM -6PM. My daughter is off at grandma's for the week( I was getting cranky). The process culminated with a videotaped session of counseling a peer. We then received feedback from our professors.
I saw myself on tape- and did not care about anything but my disheveled appearance. It had rained- so my curls were frizzed, the shirt was unflattering- Why did I buy that? I look overweight. Not good.
My professor did tell me that I did well- and stayed on task with the client. That is nice- but my appearance overshadowed the session.
So this evening I start my diet.
I have referrals to call appointments to arrange, and now some health habits to change.

Wish me luck on this adventure of weight management.